To Have Another Christmas

What would I give to have another Christmas with my loved ones? I thought about this today and remembered them all, many gone for so long, many gone for only awhile, and many still around though scattered far and wide.

What would I give to have another Christmas with you -- to smell the food, hear that familiar laughter, hear the oft repeated stories, to touch your skin, to recognize your scent that still lingers in my nostrils though it's been so long?

What would I give to have another Christmas with you -- to warn you about the dangers that only now I knew were on the horizon that we had no way of knowing back then? To hold you closer and longer because the day would soon come when you weren't there to hold anymore? To thank you for the little things you did that I hardly noticed until you were gone and those little things became big things that I missed so dearly?

What would I give to have another Christmas with you -- to say the things I should've said but didn't say? To sit so close that I could feel the warmth of your body while it still had heat to give? To feel your arms around me one more time, and to hear those words "I love you"?

What would I give to have another Christmas with you -- to see grandpa being Santa Claus, grandma in a kitchen filled with the wonderful smells of Christmas, my uncles laughing and carrying on as my aunts stood huddled together speaking in lower tones and grinning? To see my cousins and siblings racing around the house, overcome with the excitement of Christmas?

What would I give to have another Christmas with you -- Mom and Dad, just you two and me?

What would I give to have another Christmas with you -- before I lost the innocence of childhood and became overwhelmed with the burdens of life?

What would I give to have another Christmas with you -- my two little girls who now have grown into adults with children of your own? To hear the bouncing of that basketball in the atrium and the beep beep beep of Pac Man? To tuck you in bed after a long Christmas day after you were both completely spent?

What would I give to have another Christmas with you -- to see your head tilted backwards as you laughed out loud with the sun shining on your aging face?

I would give it all, in a moment. To have another Christmas.